We need to cancel the toxic culture of gender wars

Dear Society, 

As we struggle with measures of how to contain the coronavirus pandemic, there is perhaps a bigger malady that is ailing our society today. Woke culture is a pandemic that we need to seriously talk about. So, what does woke culture mean? It simply means being pretentious or pretending to care about a social issue. It is a new way of seeing the world in a dichotomy of oppressors and victims based on race, class, gender, sexual orientation, et cetera. While there is nothing inherently wrong with trying to make the world a better and a safer place for everyone, the woke gang has hijacked a noble cause and turned into a cancellation campaign on anyone who doesn’t see the world as they do.

More than ever, social media has become a melting pot for hatred and culture wars. Fake activists have taken over the platform spreading rage over frivolous things. I call them fake because half of the woke gang are not any better when it comes to the things they are making noise about. These are charlatans who are simply exploiting others’ fears of being canceled. What’s is appalling is the fact that these frauds are being aided and abetted by the mainstream media. Luckily, this won’t go on for a very long time.

A typical case of woke gang’s overreach is the gender war that is currently getting perverse in our society. If you have a doubt about the fact that we are in a war between the genders, then check out the Amerix phenomenon; the masculinity Saturday that trends in Kenya's Twittersphere every Saturday and sometimes spills over to Sundays. Elsewhere, for those who read about these kinds of things, you will hear of communities like “The Manosphere”, “Man Cave,” “The Red Pillers,” mens’ rights movement,” “fathers’ manifesto,” “anti-slut defense,” et cetera. This is a red flag; an indication of an undercurrent that is sweeping through the world, silently, but with catastrophic future consequences for both genders.

The manosphere, the world that Amerix and lots of men today subscribe to, is not as evil as the woke gang tries to portray it. The end goal is to create a generation of good men who understand their role in the societies they live and work in, but also recognize the changing social and power dynamics around the place of a modern man and that of an empowered woman in an increasingly woke society. To bastardize the group as simply a misogynistic outfit is to miss the point completely. No one wants to go back to the era where women were only to be seen and not to be heard; where women’s only role was to bear children and look pretty; where women’s only place was the kitchen and the domestic setup. We do not want any of that! Like Obama told us a few years ago, it’s in everyone's best interest that women are empowered, and contributing to human civilization in equal measure. What’s the point of having half of your team members not playing? What will not auger well, and the cause of all this rage on social media is how we go about this empowerment. What we have now is a classic case of “it is not enough that the cats have succeeded, the Dogs must also fail!” (pun intended). This is unsustainable, and the pendulum is going to swing soon, the gloves will be off, and it won’t be pretty for anyone.

The narrative around gender equality now largely favors the girlchild. While we are at it, we risk creating a monster society of highly empowered women (not a bad thing) and having a generation of men ill-equipped to relate with the women. The pressure to measure up while also still remaining true to their traditional role of being the provider can lead to disastrous consequences for both men and women. We have gender wars capsuled in the form of “Toxic Masculinity” and “Toxic Feminism”. Our good men are literally “DYING IN THEIR LINE OF DUTY” as a result of this plus a host of other injustices we ignored as the woke cultured swept through our societies.

Ask yourself why Amerix, a nobody from some village in western Kenya, has suddenly gained a massive following and is controlling the narrative on such an important subject like how a man and women should relate, and what it means to be man enough. The reason is simple, we sat down lazily and let the woke culture take over a noble cause of gender equity and turn it into an "us vs. them" war. Society has seen the rise of a generation of mean-spirited young women who call themselves feminists. Do they even know what real feminism is and should be? The version that is currently out there is not making the situation any better; first, because of the levels of hypocrisy demonstrated by these sad and mean-spirited pretty young things. Some of these so-called feminists are exactly the same kind who, behind closed doors and drawn curtains, suck up to the men to get a head-start in life. Once they climb a few flimsy social ladders, they start being polemical about genders and how women are better than men in an attempt to proselytize on their version of feminism. This is pure bullshit, and the red pillers are not taking it lying down.

The second reason why the current dominant version of feminism is unsustainable has to do with the dangers in portends to the future generation. Already we have a growing number of single women who cannot get a husband or even be in a proper relationship because they are too toxic. Imagine how society will look like when the current generation of young women in their teens and early 20s join the toxic feminism crusade. This is going to be Hiroshima and Nagasaki 2.0 if we do not do something about it.

The boychild has been left out to fend for himself in most conversations. The affirmative action was a good idea but was poorly executed. Now the women have been empowered, and the society is supposed to be all-balanced, and everybody happy! Why isn’t this the case? It is because a bunch of a few women want more than they bargained for. For them, being empowered and having equity in terms of opportunities is not enough. They will stop at nothing to see to it that the men are trashed; that the natural order of things is reversed, and women are on-top with men literally worshiping them. As expected, men are bound to fight back, and this has been the birth of the manosphere and other similar ideologies. The idea is not to take women back to the situation in the 1960s, but rather to ensure that civility prevails even as women join the men in the big decision-making tables.

The woke gang has a different interpretation of the manosphere philosophy. For them, these are men who do not understand women; men who are backward; men who need some sort of redemption. They are damn wrong.  Here is an interesting title of a 2013 article written on the Business Insider: “Inside Red Pill, The Weird New Cult for Men Who Don’t Understand Women.” Really? You think all this is because men do not understand women! C’mon! How conveniently simplistic! The article went ahead to mischaracterize the tenets of the red pill philosophy thus: “A woman is a lock and a man is a key. If a key opens a lot of locks, it is a master key. But if one lock is opened by lots of keys, it is a dodgy lock. “This is a very pedestrian way of summarizing the “red pill philosophy.” To reduce the whole thing to a sex talk is to cheapen the whole conversation and sensationalize everything. The aim of such catchy titles is to get the feminists outraged. While I admit some of the "red pillers" have gone overboard in the way they express their anger at the society for treating men unfairly, this issue is very complicated, and so it requires a sober and nuanced conversation.

The extreme “red pillers” think that it is men and not women who have been socially disenfranchised. Red pillars think feminism is a dangerous ideology; creating a society that is outrightly anti-men. So, for them, getting the pill, just like in the movie “Matrix” gives one access to the realities of life. To this society, the reality is that female oppression is a myth, and men are the ones holding a shorter end of the stick (sic). This category of red pillers also believes that men and women are inherently different due to evolution, so each gender should carry its designated role in the society. For example, females should raise children at home, and men should work and have sex with women (sic).

Another dangerous group that has arisen out of this whole gender-war nonsense are what we call “Pick Up artists.” These guys have devised sinister ways on how to talk to and ultimately copulate with women – they call it “The Game.” A good game technique turns a conversation with a woman into a guy vs. girls jousting match of the mind; every word is carefully calculated to make one seem as attractive as possible. If this sounds disingenuous way to meet people, some red pillers see it as no worse than a woman wearing makeup. Everything is a charade, and so the game goes on! Some men have described swallowing the red pill as a feeling greater than winning the lottery.

As I sign off, picture a future where the current toxic feminism interns; am talking the young ladies in their 20s who are currently having their tutelage from the social-climbing hypocrites in their 30s and 40s; picture this crop of women in their 30s and another bunch in their 20s who will come after them. Just imagine these women up against the crop of red pillers that the society is already creating. The ones who think the society is against them and hence have resorted to revenge in the form of gender-based violence and rape. Picture that society and tell me if you want your daughter or son growing up in such a morass, such a cesspool! I definitely would not want that society for my children.  My plea to the toxic feminists; stop frustrating the men. Let’s just have an honest conversation on gender equity and how to make opportunities accessible to everyone. This nonsensical mantra that “what a man can do a woman can do better” has to stop! And even the corporates who are propping up the woke gang have to stop with their charade. Remember, a happy man means a happy woman somewhere, and hence a happy and productive workforce. It is in our collective best interest as men, as women, as a society, even as corporates, to have this conversation in a sober manner where no one is feeling targeted. We all have seen the light, and we get it that women deserve to be treated well; no one wants to go back to the days of the caveman. The rallying call is, of course for men to learn how to treat women well. Women too have to meet their end of the bargain by behaving like royalties if they want to be treated like queens. If you continue with your ghetto behaviors, you will meet your ruffians who will not be very kind to you.

Regards,

Jude Juma [ A Feminist)